Love is timeless and endures all things especially in relationships. Becoming one means laying down your will to consider others. Loving them even though they may disappoint you or fail to meet your expectations.
Building a relationship takes work; your relationship will not get better or stronger just by wishing it. You have to be will to put in the time learning and growing with each other for it to be successful.
Learning to communicate is key to working through the challenges that will come as you learn to co-exist in the same space. Words can lift up, tear down, build foundations and bridge the gap of misunderstandings while helping you to learn each other better each day.
Moving too fast in relationships can lead to frustration but with patience, you get to see personalities and traits that you normally wouldn’t. If you believe someone is worth your time, why rush? Practice patience and learn what they are all about. Get to know the person on the inside. A beautiful face, body, muscles and bank account can’t make up for an ugly heart, foul mouth and annoying character flaws that irk you most of the time. Don’t settle for something temporary. The wrong choice may mean a lifetime of misery.
Trust takes time to build and if you are a person with trust issues, it will take even longer. Don’t kid yourself, a new relationship won’t be better if you haven’t mastered your fears of being hurt or disappointed. You first have to work through your trust issues or you’ll bring them into the new relationship wrongfully accusing the other person of what someone else did to you.
If both people have trust issues then growth becomes impossible. One or both will learn to tolerate the other and the relationship becomes a normal dysfunctional mess and healthy cultivation becomes impossible. The relationship is sabotaged from the beginning. Unfortunately, this type of relationship has grown to be the new norm… so sad!
A relationship based on transparency will alleviate a lot of the trust issues. Being open and honest is the soil that cultivates healthy relationships. This doesn’t mean that you won’t ever have disagreements but you will be better at working through them. When a person knows that you are being transparent, it puts them at ease to open up and trust you with heart issues they would otherwise be reluctant to share.
Let me point out that transparency is not easy to achieve because we’ve been so conditioned to be guarded and taught to trust no-one. Also, transparency does leave you vulnerable to someone else. This is why taking your time in relationships is so important. You don’t want to be transparent with the wrong person only to be betrayed. This will only leave you bitter and even more guarded. TAKE YOUR TIME OPENING UP TO PEOPLE!
Laying down your right to be right and admitting your faults is something we all need to learn and develop in our lives. A prideful heart/spirit will always fight to be right and refuse to admit wrong especially for fear of being embarrassed. But humility is a character trait we all can benefit from. A humble person doesn’t feel the need to win every argument. They are more interested in the health, growth, longevity and success of the relationship and will do all they can to cultivate it.
Either way as I said before, relationships takes work. If two people truly love each other, they will both work towards the success of the relationship. They have to be willing to learn and grow while admitting they don’t know it all. If they’re open to rethink what they’ve been taught and not afraid to admit their short comings, it’s a win win for both people.
So, are relationships worth all the hassle? Absolutely with someone willing to put in the work.
It won’t take long to realize that the work gets easy and more enjoyable as time goes on!
Just my thoughts – If I work on having a healthy loving relationship and you do the same, our relationship will be successful.
How would you define a lasting relationship?
Hugs and Love from me to you! Valarie Lovelight
