Black women regardless of skin color desire to be accepted for who we are inside and out. Unfortunately, in our desire to been seen, we have gone too far to fit in with others that we have lost ourselves within all the changes we’ve assimilated through the passages of time. From our hair, appearance, body type, dress, looks etc. we are constantly adapting to someone else’s perception of what’s acceptable and trying to live up to those standards and ideals of who we are and what’s best for us .
The reality is this, until we know who we are and how valuable, precious and beautiful we are, we will always feel the need to define ourselves in someone else’s eyes and live up to their perception of us. In the end we will continue to gravitate to cultural trends and video ideology, rap music and Hollywood for our identity.
We must learn to celebrate the uniqueness of our hair, skin color, and body type, etc. and not allow the pressure of negative stereotypes or type casting to dictate our actions and self-worth. Understand that our desire for attention plays out in our provocative dress as a means for getting it. However, there are far less self-devaluing and self-destructive ways to be seen and heard. Instead using our body, we have to learn to use our mind. We must find another way.
We are not ‘baby mamas, ho’s, hood rats, project chicks, BITCH’s, someone’s jump off, or something to do! We’re more than welfare recipient, lazy and trifling. Our darker pigmentation doesn’t make us ugly or undesirable. We don’t have to settle for being a chick on the side or one among many and…ALL BLACK MEN DON’T HATE US!!!
We’re strong, nurturing, inventive, openly accepting and creative. We rise to any occasion and do what needs to be done for your family and those we care about. We love deeply and wound easily. When recognized, we have natural grace and appeal. We must learn to walk with our heads held high with regal and queenly ease.
We must take the time to find ourselves again although for some it will be for the first time, but it is a journey worth taking. Remember, others will never see the true beauty in us until we do!
*Although I’m addressing Black Women, this can apply to all women!
Love in action – Loving yourself will make it easier for others to love you as well.
This was inspired by some young ladies who desire to see themselves in a positive light in a world full of negatives.
4 comments
Beautiful words here Valarie and I believe them to be very wise. Maybe I don’t have the right to say much about the topic, but I will say a little anyway 😀
For me, black women are the most physically beautiful of the world. The darker shades even more so and there’s nothing wrong with natural hair as I like that too! And nothing is more beautiful than a confident black woman that has not covered her body and soul with artificial add-ons. I’ve discussed this topic quite often with many and I even assist maintaining a natural hair blog. Many are following trends of being real / natural, but there seems to be a power great in numbers trying to knock it down. I don’t understand why that power is so much against natural beauty, but it obviously weighs heavily on women. The same actually happens in most of Africa as well. I think confidence is the key. With confidence beauty is seen, but more importantly it is felt and the weights removed.
One love!
Thank you Scott for your words of love. You have a right like anyone else to share what you did. I think one of the problems is that we as black women too often close ourselves off to the uplifting that comes from outside for various reasons and many are legitimate in some respect but still we need to hear those voices that build us up as well. Confidence is important just as knowing what to have confidence in outside of add-ons as you said. I see so many beautiful young ladies who struggle with being their naturally beautiful selves. Big Hugs!
Dang, I forgot to mention the facts I’ve noticed about the INSIDE too. For creative ability, deep thinking, goal accomplishment, and so on and so on, black women have it. Not only have it, but have it at much higher levels than anyone else in the world (when they don’t allow the world to keep them down.) I dive into the realms of art and writing globally every day and I stand strongly behind what I just said.
Anyway…
I think overall, it’s harder for black women to share their talents and gifting’s for fear of it not being good enough. I struggled with that in my writing especially my poetry but yet I keep writing for myself. Confidence comes as we continue to move forward through all the doubt and fear. Thank you! I don’t take what you shared lightly but with heartfelt appreciation. Valarie